Showing posts with label funny jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny jokes. Show all posts
Wednesday, 26 July 2017
Saturday, 22 July 2017
Who killed Abel (joke)
Friday, 21 July 2017
Monday, 17 July 2017
Celebration
Sunday, 16 July 2017
GCE Exams questions
GCE MATHEMATICS EXAM PAPER
Time: 2Hrs 30MINS
INSTRUCTIONS: ATTEMPT ALL QUESTIONS.
ALL QUESTIONS CARRY EQUAL MARKS.
You have dated a girl for 2 years, eventually she drops you for another guy. Calculate the percentage of time wasted. (20 marks)
You bought a phone for your girlfriend and she gave it to another guy. Using trigonometric identities, derive a general formula for this type of love. (20 marks)
(For Boys) You’re dating around 15 girls and every girl is demanding for a Samsung Galaxy and an iPhone 6s (a) Plot a graph of girls against prices of phones. (15marks)
(b) Use your graph to estimate your future poverty (5marks)
You are dating other peoples’ sisters yet you don’t want to see any guy with your sister. Calculate the Percentage Error in your Thinking Capacity. (20 marks)
You are a civil servant, your wife is a petty trader, your combined household income is less than 1,000ghc. Your daughter who is awaiting result is using iPhone 6s and Samsung Galaxy both worth 2,000ghc. Calculate the Percentage of your Parental Negligence. (20 marks)
(For girls) You’re a girl and you have dated 20 guys with hard labor, use the law of deminishing Return to calculate the substance that will be left for your husband to enjoy. (20 marks)
You can’t give your wife 50ghc for a pot of soup, but you spend over 100ghc in bars and resturant. Calculate the radius of your ‘stupidity’, take π=3.142(20 marks)
BEST OF GOOD LUCK!
Advice from the invigilator: We are now in a new year. Please drop all your bad character.
Nigeria churches in 2030
Below is how Nigerian Churches will become in 2030:
PASTOR: Praise the Lord.CONGREGATION: Halleluyah!
PASTOR: Can we please turn our iPads and Kindle Bibles to Exodus 20:1. When you’re done, kindly switch on your Bluetooth to receive the sermon… Please have your debit cards ready as we shall now collect tithes and offering. You can connect to the church WIFI using password Lord99087 and as for the renovation donations, you’re welcome to contribute via EFT or mobile banking. The holy atmosphere is truly electric as the iPads beep and flicker.
CHURCH SECRETARY: This week’s meetings will be held on the various Whatsapp groups so please don’t miss out! Wednesday Bible teachings will be held live on Skype @1900hrsGMT. By the way, you may follow the Pastor on Twitter for counseling and don’t forget our weekly prayers on YouTube. God bless You All.
CONGREGATION: Amen!
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